When Randomness Strikes, Hard
by Darck Moon
Summary: Oneshot. A completely random, out of the blue fic involving Hiei and Yusuke spending quality time together. Not a pairing, just the two hanging out.


Ok, I was completely bored with this but idea's just kept coming up for some reason. Everything in here is random but guaranteed to be funny. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related to it. I just love humor and if that includes YYH, I'm there! Plus I like to write and have an evil imagination and that's never a good combo.  
  
Chapter One: "The Power Of Cheese"  
  
Twitch  
  
"Hiei, stop that."  
  
Twitch Twitch  
  
"Hiei..."  
  
Twitch Twitch Twitch  
  
"HIEI!"  
  
Twitch?  
  
"Can a twitch even be a question?"  
  
Shrug  
  
"STOP THAT!" Urameshi yelled across the table at the fire demon. The others had figured that Hiei and Yusuke should 'get to know each other better', AKA 'keep those two busy for the day'. So now they were sitting in a run- down restaurant sitting across from one another at a booth. Hiei was doing everything he could to annoy the spirit detective and whenever Yusuke tried the same thing, he was immediately shot down by a completely random topic.  
  
"Ya know Hiei, even though you can make your eye twitch, can you make your Jagan..." Yusuke started but once again, Hiei was quicker.  
  
"Cheese." He said.  
  
"Cheese Hiei?" Came the confused reply.  
  
"Yes, how can you ningens have so many types of cheeses? Isn't one enough? Its not like your kind will die without it." Hiei started to ramble.  
  
"Um, we like variety I guess. Anyways, about that twitching..."  
  
"Lets see, you have cheddar, Swiss, pepper jack, American, Monterey Jack, Gouda, blue cheese, Brie, diet cheese...how the makai do you make cheese diet...Feta, Grating, Gruyere Style, Mozzarella, Fondue, smoked, spreading and of course your basic smelly foreign stuff." Hiei said and counted them off, looking at the ceiling.  
  
Yusuke was watching him, not even recognizing a single one of the mentioned cheeses except your basic Swiss and cheddar. "Um, Hiei?"  
  
"What detective?  
  
"How did you know all of those cheeses!?" Yusuke shouted at him. Hiei lifted an eyebrow and looked at him squarely.  
  
"I can get bored in your pitiful city." Came the reply and the only thing Urameshi could reply with was a simple, "Oh."  
  
So the minutes ticked by without anymore being said. They had gone ahead and ordered already, Yusuke giving an odd look in Hiei's direction when he had offered to pay. (AKA, eat and leave without question). When there food arrived, the spirit detective immediately started to dig into his food but stopped when he saw Hiei staring at his steak.  
  
"Soufing wrog Hiya?" He said through a mouthful of food. He swallowed hard and repeated, "Something wrong Hiei?"  
  
"Why is it burnt?" The fire demon replied. Yusuke looked at the food in front of him.  
  
"Hiei, that's actually somewhat raw in a way..."  
  
"Hn. Its burnt detective, just like you will be if you keep pestering me." Came a growling reply. He turned to a waiter. "Mortal, this is burnt to a crisp. I expect at least slightly better service"  
  
The waiter turned around to reveal...BOTAN! Hiei's eye twitched again and Yusuke groaned inwardly.  
  
"Burnt? Burnt! I slave over a hot stove all day to prepare that and you turn around and say its burnt!" She said, suddenly bursting into tears. Yusuke's eyes went wide and Hiei sweatdropped.  
  
"In the makai, meat would be cooked enough so it didn't bleed. This...this is ruined." Hiei said, motioning towards the steak. And immediately regretting it.  
  
Botan burst into tears and went into hysterics. "No one loves me! Or my cooking! Its either slaving around Koenma's office doing paperwork for the stupid toddler or transporting some stupid dead soul OR slaving over a stupid hot stove, cooking stupid steaks!!"  
  
"Um...Botan?" Urameshi started. But Hiei had a better idea...  
  
"Dragon..." He started.  
  
"HIEI! NOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Well, after a long-life suspension from any restaurants in the human world, blowing up the whole city and having to explain why ningens saw a dragon made of fire to Koenma, Hiei returned to hanging out in the tree's at the park while Yusuke went back to being bossed around by Genkai, Keiko and anyone else who could get as his throat.  
  
But one day he saw a delivery truck at the park, the side of it said "World's Best Cheese."  
  
"Oh Reiki Hiei...." Yusuke muttered. 


End file.
